Confession.

Time for a confession. Today I DID feel hungry all day. I knew I would because of weight lifting yesterday. I did not eat very well….even after spending an insane amount on groceries this week, I am still lacking quick, go-to lunch stuff. Anyway, I wasn’t too worried about it, UNTIL:

We went to town.

My girls and I went to dance class, which was a let-down. It was a Zumba class, but its not taught well, and we didn’t even break a sweat. (This was probably a blessing though as I am pretty sore form yesterday.) Also, we had gone to the grocery store to grab a can of refried beans for tonight and we were all hungry, so we whizzed through the bakery and each of us snagged a chocolate chip cookie from the sampler. So, I tried VERY hard to fight that inner voice today. I am sad to say It won out in the car, still in the parking lot of the grocery store. I could NOT believe I had just eaten that cookie. ugh. BUT I realized what I was doing and vowed to forget about it and move on. Its a stupid cookie for Pete’s sake…Look what is happening on the news, there are far more important things for me to “worry” or fret over. BUT, then I went to that dumb class. The lights were on (our other class they turn the lights off and we have rope lighting around the mirrors, makes it fun, dance-club-like.) So the stupid florescents were on and I could see my soft belly with its bulges and that DID NOT help my frame of mind, especially when there were some cute little high-schoolers in front of me in their sports bras and shaking their thangs. Those lights give off terrible shadows from above that seem to enhance my tummy. GRR.

 

We had some burritos tonight, changed the menu plan a bit, and I am trying not to stress about food, my weight, my measurements etc. I will not allow food control me. I am not a failure because I ate focaccia and a cookie today, for crying out loud! I need to gather my perspective again. Funny how easy I slip into this mode. I was even considering joining weight watchers on line…..what happened to my “eat when hungry and stop when full” way of life??? Well, I am re-claiming it right now! Will you stand with me, lend me your shoulder once in a while when I need that extra support?Your listening ear helps too. Just purging my brain and getting those thoughts out is big. Sometimes I hate how complicated food is in my life. Bah!

Thank you.

Next:

I found a great website with an awesome message. Its Operation Beautiful. Would those of you reading the blog support all of us women by participating in this? Its very simple. Grab a sticky note/post it pad and keep it in your purse. EVERY time you are in a public bathroom you leave a post it note on the mirror that is encouraging. Things like: “Smile it looks pretty on you.” Or, “You are perfect just the way you are.” visit this site:

http://operationbeautiful.com/

and browse through it. Its fantastic. You never know who you may affect, whose day was in the gutter, then they saw that note. I am going to do it. I hope some of you do it. I NEED to see some of these, I need to be told these things out loud, from someone other than my kids and my husband. My parents ruined that part of me. I am fighting like crazy to get it back. Please give this an effort. I would love to see how we can change the world!

 

PS, the burritos were good, I only had one. 🙂 I am going to sparkpeople to log it all in and see the real numbers. It usually helps me get some real perspective again. Back to cooking tomorrow.

Blessings to all the women with broken hearts, poor body image, poor self worth. You ARE loved. You ARE worthy! —of your best efforts. You are stronger than you know.

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About wannebechef

I am a mom of 3 home schooled kids, wife of 19 years, head chef/manager of cafe and a personal chef and event planner.
This entry was posted in dieting, food, improving body image and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Confession.

  1. wannebechef says:

    Did my numbers in sparkpeople, and I am well w/in my ranges, even with that darn cookie and the focaccia bread! whew. What the heck was so worried about and feeling so bad about? bah!

  2. Janey Backer says:

    I wonder if you are getting enough protein with your weight lifting. Is this something you have already researched? I know that you are avoiding dairy so maybe nuts would work for you. But probably high protein after the weight lifting and more protein (eggs?) the morning after. It seems like your body is telling you there is a deficit somewhere in the nutrition realm. And if your body is needy it is going to effect your brain and emotions, no way to avoid that pit without appropriately meeting the physical needs. Am I preaching to the choir????

  3. wannebechef says:

    nope, not choir preaching, you hit it right on the nose Janey. I know that I need to up my protein, I just didn’t buy anything “quick and easy” for those situations. But I’ve also read that its very common to feel hungry the day after, its just how you handle it that matters. Anyway, i knew this was going to happen, and yet I still ended up caving into the emotion by the end of the afternoon…BUT I am getting better at listening to my body and my emotions and finding that happy medium. Slowly. Thank you so much for your post, it will serve as my “voice of wisdom” to over ride the negative one in my head. Its all about loving yourself, right? Thanks SO much! I appreciate you!

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